Gardening indoors – because you can

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How to grow a new Split-leaf Philodendron from cuttings (with pictures)

This one is huge - I can't help but to want my own!

This one is huge – I can’t help but to want my own!

I got bored. I decided to go ahead and start up another split-leaf philodendron from the one that’s growing so well at the restaurant that I work in. I kind of regret not taking photos of the actual cutting process, but I’ll walk you through the process to the best of my ability. Here we go.

Two cuttings from the delicious monster growing in the restaurant

Two cuttings from the delicious monster growing in the restaurant

I took these two cuttings from the plant you see above — The picture is actually from about two months ago, taken right before I took three cuttings to make the other one that I have to the right of my couch already. I put the cuttings in some water to keep them from drying out – I was dragging ass and it took me a few minutes to get to my apartment. Each one of the cuttings branches off into two stalks, each with their own leaf, which is why it looks more like four.

The root looks like a nubby little thorn. Cut directly below.

The root looks like a nubby little thorn. Cut directly below.

The stalks should be cut directly below the root to get growth going as efficiently as possible. If you look closely at this picture, you can see the root right at the bottom. It looks like a little dull thorn. I used a decent pair of scissors to get this task accomplished. I did not, however, use a decent camera for this picture. You can see it in the direct foreground of the upturned plastic cup, though. I cut it at a diagonal, for no specific purpose other than I just feel that it’s the right thing to do. Putting them in water was another thing that wasn’t truly necessary, but I’m just being cautious. I don’t want to fuck this all up – even though there is very little effort involved in this project, there should be a lot of care taken!

Of course you need a pot. This one is asstastic. Yes. Asstastic

Of course you need a pot. This one is asstastic. Yes. Asstastic

I got out a pot big enough to support the massive root system these plants are known to have. I’m actually using the same pot that housed the dracaena massangeana (corn plant). I really like this one because it’s pretty ornate, and it happens to have a drainage dish attached to it. I did clean it out thoroughly awhile ago, and used it to sit under the repotted corn plant so it didn’t stain my carpet… but that was hella tacky, and a waste of a perfectly good pot. Wasting pot is horrible.

I actually ended up filling the pot more, then digging this little hole.

I actually ended up filling the pot more, then digging this little hole.

I filled the pot about 4/5 of the way up with the Miracle Gro® potting mix that I have sitting around for purposes like these, and I patted it down a bit so everything wouldn’t sink and displace once I watered it in the last step. I dug out a little hole in the middle of the pot, just big enough to stick both cuttings in. They’re only supposed to be stuck about an inch or two into the soil, but they still have to be sturdy – the stalks grow in “V” shape, so this causes a little instability when planting. I was going to use a shoestring to tie them together, but they actually look like they’re going to be fine the way they are!

Finished project. They aren't too wild looking from the start. We'll see where this goes...

Finished project. They aren’t too wild looking from the start. We’ll see where this goes…

Once you have the cuttings positioned exactly as you want them, hold them into place and grab a few fist fulls of the potting mix and top off the pot. You’ll want to pat the mix down, especially in the area of the stalks, to make sure they’re secure. Once you’ve done that, give the pot a light shake to make sure the cuttings don’t move around. You definitely want this wild fucker to be stable from the start!

Me and my new beauty. I'll keep you updated on the progress.

Me and my new beauty. I’ll keep you updated on the progress.

Congratulations! You now have a new monster for your place of residence! These things apparently will bear fruit under the right conditions, although I must say – I really don’t care. I’ve never even seen the fruit produced from one of these, and if it happens, it does… if not, oh well – I have a beautiful addition to my indoor green scene. One of the leaves looks like it wants to “grow” a hole in one of the leaves, but to be completely honest, it looks more like leaf burn… Or abuse from one of the restaurant’s customers. I actually witnessed one of those fools pouring what looked like iced tea into one of the ficus pots… Some people.

Be sure to comment – offer suggestions, advice, whatever! There’s nothing wrong with following my blog either… As a matter of fact, I think you should! I’ll see you soon!


A few updates. That is all.

4a54057529c0cfda4ef9191b23af5a72-d3h0c3pHello, all – it’s been a few days since my last post, and it’s been a busy few days… Hence, no posts. In this post I’m going to offer up a few updates on projects already in the works that I have showed you so far since I started this blog. Enjoy.

This one shit the bed kind of early, but like stated in a previous post - the pineapple it came from looked kind of suspect in the first place.

This one shit the bed kind of early, but like stated in a previous post – the pineapple it came from looked kind of suspect in the first place.

I’d like to add that since my last post, I’ve started a new mango plant, and have thrown away one of the pineapple plants that I had rooting in water. The reason behind the tossing of the “potential” pineapple was that all of the leaves had dried out completely and were a shitty shade of brown, and there was mold forming in the middle of the leaves (where new leaves should have eventually grown from). If you look carefully at the picture, you’ll see the mold that I’m talking about – this prompted me to toss it in order to keep the others out of the way of any sort of risk. I didn’t want to chance it.

Avocado seed with first weeks worth of rootage! More sure to come!

Avocado seed with first weeks worth of rootage! More sure to come!

As for the avocado seeds, all seems to be great so far with those. The roots haven’t started growing out of either of the two that I showed you before,  but the very first one that I started that had already started sprouting it’s first root is well on it’s way to having a decent root system. I can tell from the little “buds” that are coming off either side of the root… I can see them when I look inside the exposed part of the seed carefully. Asstastic. Once the root system develops a bit, I’ll update you more on this little guy – and definitely on the other two mentioned before in my avocado post that you all loved so damn much. Seriously. Thank yous and such to the few that have liked, commented and followed so far. If it wasn’t for the few of you, I would have probably just bothered my Facebook friends with this particular brand of shit. But I can’t stand most of them anyway. And now I realize that the “publicize” feature dumps it on ’em anyway. Full of win. Okay – moving on…

These just might be white flies. If they are... Well fuck.

These just might be white flies. If they are… Well fuck.

The mango plants, however, have me a little concerned. As of yet, the choice to cover the newly potted seeds in plastic wrap hasn’t proven to be beneficial or detrimental  to the project so to speak, but when I looked at the plastic carefully today, I noticed tiny parasites of some sort stuck to the underside of the plastic… The tighter the plastic is wrapped, the more parasites. I’m thinking it may be a good idea to go ahead and let these seeds breathe while I go do some research…

Hopefully it's not serious.

Hopefully it’s not serious.

Since the last paragraph, I’ve done a tiny bit of research on the issue, and I’ve found that what we’re most likely looking at is White Flies. Shit… I hope this doesn’t ruin anything… I’m going to go crazy cleaning and disinfecting the apartment tonight. I’m going to also go ahead and keep the plastic off of these pots.

All three of them pretty much look like this in the middle.

All three of them pretty much look like this in the middle.

The rest of the pineapple tops that I’m rooting in water are doing great so far, but since my memory sucks, I have to take a lot of pictures to keep up with the progress on these. The leaves aren’t rapidly drying out, which is a great sign, and the roots look like they’re doing great. The very centers of the leaves are still sharp and pointy, and appear to be showing promise! I’m not going to bore you to stitches with photos of the other two, but I assure you – they all look pretty much like what you see here… healthy as I’d like ’em to be.. More on that sometime soon hopefully!

That’s it for the updates for now, I’ll be posting again very soon, and hopefully the word is all positive… I’m just remembering something as I’m going through some of my photos from last summer when I was all into photography and my allergies were awesome for me for whatever reason. I have a lot of photos of plant life from the outdoors. And like it or not, I’m going to share some of it with you from time to time. Like the one up top. Be sure to comment, like, follow… whatever – just show me some support, and I’ll show you my plants… That’s how it goes, right? See you soon.

The reasons I prefer to grow plants indoors – and a few updates.

Current projects.. Seeds and whatnot

Current projects.. Seeds and whatnot

There are a few valid reasons that I have personally that make indoor gardening a preference of mine. Three of the biggest reasons involve my overall health. For some odd reason, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to live an unbearably long time, so I feel that my time spent here should be as comfortable as possible. We all need to understand that the health benefits offered by houseplants are AWESOME to begin with, but aside from that huge fact, my reasoning behind my preference to grow indoor includes, and is definitely not limited to:

  1. I’m susceptible to heat stroke – it’s happened to me twice before.
  2. I have shitty allergies, and it’s not fair.
  3. The outdoors are beautiful and full of fresh oxygen already. My abode needs assistance in that area. If you didn’t already know, plants transform carbon dioxide (that we as humans/animals give them when exhaling) into oxygen (which we in turn, breathe right the hell back in). I need that oxygen.
  4. Kiss my ass. I already told you there were three reasons. Keep up.
I do love to grow things, though!

I do love to grow things, though!

With those reasons aside, there’s also the fact that I don’t have an outdoor gardening area accessible to me other than community projects in the city that I live in that were awesome at one time, but is currently being invaded by hipsters. I really hate hipsters… Their smug faces, vegan diet, tiny feet and hay bedding… no. Wait – hamsters. I really hate hamsters. I’m really just kidding. I don’t hate anybody – I hate everybody. Really. Due to this slight lack of resource (which really isn’t a lack of resource at all) I lean way towards indoor more than I do outdoor. I’m also in love with the fact that I have an outstanding amount of control over what happens with my green buddies. The company of plants also tends to be a lot more pleasant than the company of most people… I try not to be completely antisocial though.

It doesn't look to good for my buddy here. We'll see.

It doesn’t look too good for my buddy here. We’ll see.

Speaking of control, Here’s a little update on what’s going on with my pineapple tops mentioned in my first post… The one that I started first (the day before I started this blog) that I showed you in pictures doesn’t look like it’s going to do so well from what I’m seeing here. All of the leaves have completely dried out, and it’s showing me nothing as far as hope goes. The leaves are supposed to dry out, true – but it seems to be a lot too early for that. I’ll give it three more days at most to see if anything changes. The pineapple that it came from had been sitting in the walk-in at my job for at least five days – I got it the day before a produce order came in. The ones that I started the very next day  are from that produce order, and they’re doing good so far – hopefully they won’t look like this one in five to seven days. We’ll see!

Started the same day, the only obvious difference is color changes.

Started the same day, the only obvious difference is color changes.

The avocado seeds that I started the other day seem to be doing well. The only thing that I have noticed so far is the one that i covered remains a constant light brown all the way around, and the other one is starting to develop a ring around the area that I stuck the toothpicks in, and is getting lighter in the area exposed to air.

Lots of color change.

Lots of color change.

If you look at the picture to the left, you’ll see an avocado seed that I started five to six weeks ago. I kept this one in my north facing window for the first four weeks, which I’m recently learning wasn’t really the best of ideas. I’ve since kept it on my kitchen counter or range top, and it’s been progressing rapidly! The color change is a lot more evident when you look at this avocado seed. it has a ring in the area where the toothpicks went in (as usual) and another toward the very top that is a lot darker than the other two color layers. I’m going to pay close attention to this to see if it happens with my newer uncovered avocado seed. The first root sprouted from the bottom of this one a few days ago, and seems to be growing at a rate of about 1/4 of an inch daily. There will be more roots to come, of course, and the entire seed will eventually split apart almost completely around the time the stalk of the plant pops out of the top… I wonder how long that will take.

So that’s it for this post – once again, it’s getting late and I need to turn in for the night. I’ll post something else tomorrow… most likely a new pineapple plant, but this time since I have extra potting mix, I’m going to start it off in soil – this should still work as a good comparison to the others, seeing as how I just started those within the last few days. Be sure to leave feedback, and follow me if you wish to stay updated. So yeah. Tomorrow. Until then…


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